I will wait no more

As I write this I'm listening to my youngest have an absolute melt down in her crib. Yes, I am a 'cry it out' mommy. Especially since I know that this tantrum has everything to do with her being so tired she doesn't know what to do with herself, and that she will, sooner than later, fall asleep. We've had sport camp in the mornings this week for Miss C, and the pipsqueak has been woken up from every morning nap so far this week...hence the melt down. I'm quite anxious for her to drop the morning nap, it will be nice to be able to do things in the mornings...

In any case, thats not why I sat down at the computer this morning. I sat down, to write a little spot about my recent decision to stop waiting. More specifically, my decision to stop waiting for my body to return to its pre-marriage, pre-baby form. I've decided that, that, will never happen, and I've decided to be OK with that. I had a very interesting conversation with a lovely older woman not that long ago - we were discussing marriage and love and such - and she looked at me and said, (In a very thick British accent) "you've got to keep the kettle boiling at home, love. You can't wear sweatpants and t-shirts every day and expect to keep your husband happy!" The comment struck a nerve, because fabulous husband has commented on more than one occasion that he is not such a fan of my vast assortment of sweatpants and t-shirts. Not in a not-nice sort of way, just in a I'd-like-to-occasionnaly-see-the-body-of-the-woman-I-married, kind of way. Really not such an unreasonable request, all things considered.

So I got to thinking. I have a few pieces of nice clothes and some very pretty jewelry that I NEVER wear, because I've been waiting for an "occasion" to wear them. Some beautiful dangly earrings that I absolutely love, some very pretty bracelets, a cute pair of shoes or two and some nice shirts, that I NEVER EVER wear. Because I keep waiting. I keep waiting for the clothes to just fit a tiny bit better. I keep waiting for a reason to wear the earrings that I love. I keep waiting for the shoes to be as comfortable as my running shoes. Thing is, all that stuff never happens. If I keep waiting, I'll never get to wear any of it. So I've decided to stop waiting. Today is as important an occasion as any, simply because I woke up to a great life, with great kids, a great husband and great family and friends. And the husband will no doubt appreciate this decision. Interestingly, I'm finding that the more I wear the stuff I like, the more I like what I see in the mirror. And the more all the squishy parts of me seem less glaringly awful, and a little more worthy of loving. And I'm finding the more I'm loving the me in the mirror, the less I feel the need to eat an entire bag of chips. And a chocolate bar afterwards. Hmm. Also, it turns out that the shoes aren't actually that uncomfortable. So, there you have it. I will stop waiting and I will love this body, no matter what shape it takes, as it has seen me through thick and thin, (literally) produced some beautiful babies and been insrumental in building a good life. Sorry, body, for all the abuse over the past years. I promise to stop now.

Also, the pipsqueak stopped crying about 15 minutes ago. I win!